He had a big position with a top financial firm; I headed up public relations for a health-care nonprofit.
I don't know how much longer we can go on with the distance and his sneaking around, but I can't imagine my life without Doug, without this in it. Then Doug stood up, towering over me, and grabbed a fistful of my hair. Meanwhile, I tried to suppress this thing between Doug and me. With 500 miles between us, we're in contact over e-mail, text, and Skype.He ordered me to perform oral sex, but that first time wasn't really about sex, it was about seeing if I'd be obedient. Afterward, I cried, overwhelmed by how raw it all was. When Doug texted that he was moving to Boston for a big promotion, I agreed to meet him for a drink. Because BDSM is about so much more than just sex, Doug can still be my Dom from afar, focusing more on psychological control.Curious about my new feelings, I did some research online. Another showed a girl on the floor with a man standing over her asking who she belonged to. He'd finished an Ironman triathlon, and I'd started working on a business plan to venture out on my own.Our shared interest in BDSM came up slowly, in e-mails and on the phone. " Almost a year after our first date, Doug came to my house to try BDSM.(As embarrassing as it is to admit, he's a lot like Christian Grey.) And he has the perfect Stepford-looking wife. I couldn't imagine leading a double life like he does. Yet selfishly, my main concern is protecting him and our relationship.
I love that has gotten women talking more honestly about their fantasies, but I hate that the book perpetuates the notion that a Dom must be messed up to be into this kind of sex.
He'd joke about making me scream, and I'd say, confidently, "Bring it." Or he'd forward articles or videos of BDSM research he'd done. In a D/s (Dominant/submissive) relationship, you have to trust each other—emotionally, mentally, spiritually. We settled on opposite sofas, and I was a fidgety, nervous mess.
While a Dominant, or "Dom," may have the "power," he can only go as far as his submissive, or "sub," will let him. What if I didn't like the pain as much as the idea of it? And just like that, our long-distance, extramarital D/s relationship began.
People who aren't in the BDSM world think that Doms and subs are broken people.
Subs supposedly have no backbone, have daddy issues. I have two full-time employees and am a bossy boss. We are just expressing darker sides of ourselves the way everyone else probably has some fetish they're afraid to share.
He used a belt, leaving welts on my back, thighs, and bottom. We met up a couple more times for similar sessions, but then I pulled away. Not by the pain, but by how intense my feelings were for him. We had both gotten married, gotten on with our lives. I told my husband, with whom I share a very honest relationship, that I was going to see an ex for closure. I'll text that I'm going for a run, and he'll tell me I can't.